It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
