if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
