porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
