if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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