This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
