Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
