i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize