If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
