Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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