It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
