Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize