Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
