Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
