Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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