Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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