Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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