No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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