i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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