you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You need Xanax blowdarts
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
