If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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