So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
