Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
