I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
