I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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