So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
