she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
