You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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