i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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