Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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