Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
