I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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