the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
