Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
