Who did Billy Mays play for?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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