i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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