yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
