I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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