That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
