For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
