Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just want nice things and good sex
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
