You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
