we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
