he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She needs sedatives and a leash
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
