Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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