Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
