All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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