And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize