like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
