I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize