i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
