I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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