Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
