i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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