Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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