is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
