Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
