There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
