She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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