I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
